Maturity...

We've been on the ground 3 weeks, and we're already on our second set of sworn statements. Is it too much to ask you children to not get in trouble for A WHOLE MONTH?

121...108...103...

At this rate, I won't have a shipping container to live in for five months. Sadface.

Tacticool

So, you know how we wear the American flag on our shoulder, right? Well, there's also one that's black and white and shiny under night vision so we can recognize each other. The new general has decreed that all will wear it. Because he wants to be a fucking cool guy. Newsflash, jackass, there's only a tiny handful of people here who do goddamn combat missions, and you're not one of them.

Dr. Wafel Zinraal's diary, 23 June

A commando flock from the Columbidae mercenary kingdom arrived at base camp today. Apparently their services have been retained by High Command for the duration of the conflict. Their telepathic messaging skills will be highly handy, as dust storms have impeded our smoke signaling. Poor Grigsby was gored by a tusker two days ago, and by the time the message got through and we dispatched a medevac balloon, it was too late. According to the capabilities brief I received from their commander, Flight Lieutenant Obock, they're also trained in sabotage and diversionary tactics, and their size gives them a great deal of protection from the Shivan anti-air weaponry.

My private, on the comestibility of freefalling ice crystals

"When I moved to Washington, the first time I saw snow I ate some. It was so bland, I expected something more."

Dr. Wafel Zinraal's Diary, 17 June

We've made it through to the Grisham Badlands. Unfortunately, the Shivans have come up with some devastating new AAA, meaning we can't bring the airship any closer to deliver our precious cargo. I have our 3-person scout teams out (composed of a Flame Tech, Ley-Karma Analyst, and Deflector-General mounted on mecha-mules) trying to find a suitable route to the front, relaying their findings back via smoke signal to the observation balloon, as the vast deposits of astroballistic minerals in the area are interfering with our EM-dependent equipment.

Trendsetting

So, this $20m cafeteria ("galley", according to the navy) has a revolving door in front. This first week I was here, I never saw anyone go in clockwise. Always anticlockwise. I did not anticipate how amused my comrades would be by my curiosity-fueled choice to go in the wrong way. I just wanted to see if it would work!

And they're off!

Teams have pushed out to their safehouses. Finally starting the learning process with my counterpart here in HQ. Start taking over responsibilities next week. Forward to victory.

Annals of why I'm getting the fuck out, Vol. X, where X is a very large number

We spent 25 minutes yesterday being fretted at by a bunch of people with 15-25 years of military service about standing up at the proper time, standing in the proper position, and reciting the exact same 5 lines of biographical information about ourselves in sufficiently somber tones for a guy who will forget all about it in 10 seconds. Or else the terrorists win.

Casualties

So apparently our battalion commander tore his ACL playing football shortly before we got here. Then he proceeded to not have it looked at, whereupon it threw clots into his lungs causing pulmonary embolism. He got flown back to the US and released from active duty. Dumbass. Of course, the smaj now thinks this is cause to ban all sports, contact or otherwise. Another member of our HHC element went down to the desert survival course put on by the French and was medevac'd a couple days ago. Our unit has taken more casualties on this deployment in two months than we did in our entire last tour in Iraq.

My private, on food semantics

Me: Time for ice cream. Moments later... Her: That's not ice cream, that's a shake. Me: You know what shakes are made of, right? Her: Yeah, but...

Environmental Protection

One of our last tasks here was to turn in these damnable HMMWVs. So we went and cleaned them first. That went well enough. Then for the curling. We got through most of them, until one started a dieselfall. Wasn't too massive, but it was enough to motivate us to crack open the spill kit. Which contained a binder with the procedures for responding to such. For example, calling the fire department. We had it contained, and a brief at the start of our time here telling us that calling 911 would lead to off post agencies responding...so I just called the regular number in there. No answer. Alright, well, the station's just a block away, I'll just hop over there real quick. "You'll need to call 911. I'll tell the station chief here, since we'll probably be the ones responding." Are you fucking serious? So I called 911. The motherfuckers came out, along with environmental protection, the Air Farce, and eventually, after about an hour of repeated harassment, the civilian mechanics from the motor pool to haul the POS off. What a joke.

For want of 78¢, the war was lost

Shipped some shit back home today, and some other shit elsewhere. Grand total was $40.78. Their debit card reader was out, and I had 2 $20s on hand. So close, yet so far. But one of my comrades in line behind me spotted me a buck to cover it. Sure is nice to know somebody has your back, even when they have no idea who the fuck you are.

Corporalphilia

In the five and a half years I've been in civil affairs, and this unit, I've never seen a CA corporal until now. I'm not sure that's a good thing overall, reflecting at least in part the fact that we promote people to sergeant ridiculously fast (c.f. me), but kudos to the newly (laterally) promoted E4. Granted, it was primarily because his team lost an NCO that they need to be able to draw backpacks full of money, but nonetheless, he earned it.

Unlike many who outrank him.