I first walk in and have to wait for this guy to finish eavesdropping on someone's conversation. Then after he gets done telling me my paperwork isn't good enough, he calls me back on my way out the door, asks me to sit down for the sole purpose of asking me if I smoke. Then on my way out the second time, he tells me I look "like a rapist" today.
After getting some of the paperwork he demanded, I came back and had to wait for him to do an impression of how stupid most of the people who come to ask him questions are.
Has this guy even ever heard of being a professional?
Monday, August 27, 2012
Fuck the Air Force
First you take away my tools. Then you tell me the paperwork to get my tools back isn't good enough.
Then your buddy elsewhere says I can't even get any tools.
And you do it all without even a semblance of politeness.
So fuck you and the jet you rode in on.
Then your buddy elsewhere says I can't even get any tools.
And you do it all without even a semblance of politeness.
So fuck you and the jet you rode in on.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Stop touching things!
Just because you're theoretically in the reviewing chain for my guys' shit doesn't mean you should be touching it.
Especially when you return things for not having documents that they don't need attached.
Especially when you return things for not having documents that they don't need attached.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Dr. Wafel Zinraal's Diary, 11 August
They came in the night. Blutheran lizard riders and their infernal Cherenkov maces. Half my contingent was slain before the alarm was sounded; the guards were at half strength, the rest busy with pay recertification mandated by those fools in the Capitol. I told them we had no computers to do it on; they airdropped them in at absurd cost. If they'd been willing to send us the endemic-geometric qualifier arrays we asked for last month the same way, we would've finished mapping a way out of these badlands already and none of this would've happened!
We're on the move now, through what paths our scout teams have identified. Thankfully lizard riders suck at tracking prey.
We're on the move now, through what paths our scout teams have identified. Thankfully lizard riders suck at tracking prey.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
For want of a standard form forty-four
So, because our teams generally operate in such far-flung areas, away from the flagpole here on camp and unable to just requisition every little thing they need, each of them has a FOO and PA. That's "Field Ordering Officer" and "Pay Agent" for those of you not fluent in the eldritch tongues. These individuals have some hefty responsibility. They have to know what they can and can't buy, do the paperwork for it all, and safeguard big piles of cash until it's distributed. Most of these costs go to things like petrol/gas/fuel, the occasional bit of building supplies or durable goods that aren't in the normal supply chain.
The FOO's job is to decide that something is necessary to the mission and draw up the Standard Form (SF) 44. It's a tiny slip of paper with enormous consequence; essentially a check, signed by a duly-appointed representative of the US government and issued to the local provider of the good or service described thereon. This provider then turns around and hands the SF 44 over to the PA, who pulls the cash out of his or her big backpack full of money and hands over the proper amount.
Every 60 days, these two people have to return here to reconcile their expenses. They bring all their paperwork, the CCO (contingency contracting officer) looks it over to make sure it's good, then signs off on it so they can go draw their next batch of cash. It's a PITA, but probably the sort of thing most taxpayers would like done with their money, no?
Well, sometimes the paperwork isn't good. Sometimes the FOO and PA leave receipts behind. Or don't get all the receipts properly signed by the local provider of a good or service. Or don't properly account for everything and come up short.
Sometimes they do all of that.
Sometimes, the FOO gets fired. And, since they're operating in another country, we have to scramble to
A) pull an officer off another team to go down to said country and temporarily operate as their FOO so that they can continue to buy gas for their trucks,
B) get him a flight into said country,
C) cancel the original FOO's flight back, since we can only have so many people in said country at any given time,
D) clear these movements with the CCE (country coordination element - a military officer working as a liaison with the embassy),
E) schedule to bring the other potential FOO, a FOOCYTE if you will, from their team up to this country and get trained, reconcile the remainder of the cash, draw new cash, and fly back
in the space of about 5 hours.
Goddamn I love my job.
The FOO's job is to decide that something is necessary to the mission and draw up the Standard Form (SF) 44. It's a tiny slip of paper with enormous consequence; essentially a check, signed by a duly-appointed representative of the US government and issued to the local provider of the good or service described thereon. This provider then turns around and hands the SF 44 over to the PA, who pulls the cash out of his or her big backpack full of money and hands over the proper amount.
Every 60 days, these two people have to return here to reconcile their expenses. They bring all their paperwork, the CCO (contingency contracting officer) looks it over to make sure it's good, then signs off on it so they can go draw their next batch of cash. It's a PITA, but probably the sort of thing most taxpayers would like done with their money, no?
Well, sometimes the paperwork isn't good. Sometimes the FOO and PA leave receipts behind. Or don't get all the receipts properly signed by the local provider of a good or service. Or don't properly account for everything and come up short.
Sometimes they do all of that.
Sometimes, the FOO gets fired. And, since they're operating in another country, we have to scramble to
A) pull an officer off another team to go down to said country and temporarily operate as their FOO so that they can continue to buy gas for their trucks,
B) get him a flight into said country,
C) cancel the original FOO's flight back, since we can only have so many people in said country at any given time,
D) clear these movements with the CCE (country coordination element - a military officer working as a liaison with the embassy),
E) schedule to bring the other potential FOO, a FOOCYTE if you will, from their team up to this country and get trained, reconcile the remainder of the cash, draw new cash, and fly back
in the space of about 5 hours.
Goddamn I love my job.
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