Annals of why I'm getting the fuck out, Vol. X, where X is a very large number

We spent 25 minutes yesterday being fretted at by a bunch of people with 15-25 years of military service about standing up at the proper time, standing in the proper position, and reciting the exact same 5 lines of biographical information about ourselves in sufficiently somber tones for a guy who will forget all about it in 10 seconds. Or else the terrorists win.